How many other children does your child’s father or mother have, and does your child have any type of relationship with these other siblings? My children’s father has a son who is now 19 years old, and he has only seen my kids one time in their lives. He was very young, but at that time he didn’t want to have anything to do with my kids or his own father. I have tried several times to get in contact with my children’s brother through his mother, but my ex would always make up excuses why he couldn’t give me her number. “Joann isn’t the type of woman who would like for you to call her,” he would always say. After awhile I got tired and stopped trying, but the story below has me moving forward to try again for the sake of my kids.
My friend Yvette was dating this man for a couple of years, and, at the time of their relationship, she was just ending her marriage. Her boyfriend James was in and out of a relationship with his children’s mother. After dating for a while, Yvette became pregnant, and she knew that James already had two children by this woman. From what she could see, he was a good father to his kids, and she and James were both thrilled about having their baby. James stood by her throughout the pregnancy, but, during the pregnancy, Yvette found out that James was still with his children’s mother. Yvette wasn’t the type of woman to sit around and worry herself about this - she kept it moving!
One morning, as Yvette was on her way to work, the inevitable happened. She was waiting for the MARTA train and looking at the MARTA entrance when she saw James dropping off his kids’ mother. Yvette didn’t say anything to the other woman – what would be the reason? Yvette gave birth to a beautiful little girl, and, a few weeks after she gave birth, James married his children’s mother. This obviously shocked Yvette. Not surprisingly, even after he married this lady, James was trying to come back into her life and wanted to be with her more than anything, even though he was now a married man. It didn’t take long for the new bride to find out about the baby, and from there, chaos ensued. There was much back and forth between Yvette, James, and his wife for years. What was worse, as long as Yvette wasn’t going to be intimate with James anymore, he would not do anything for his own daughter!
It didn’t take long for Yvette to file for child support, which, of course, put the final nail in the coffin between Yvette and James. After a year had passed, Yvette started seeing other people, and James fathered another baby, not with his wife. Since Yvette’s daughter’s first birthday, she has always tried to invite James and his other children to the party, but every year James would say his wife would not allow him to bring the children. A few years ago, James’ wife got smart and deceived his ass, and it was around this time that James started spending more time with his daughter. He also made sure that she spent time with her other siblings.
Many years have now passed, and Yvette’s daughter has a good relationship with her father and siblings. On Saturday morning, Yvette received a phone call from James ex-wife, who called to invite Yvette’s daughter to her youngest daughter’s birthday party. Yvette was at a loss for words! She and her daughter went to the party, and Yvette had a rare opportunity to talk to the woman who, over time, she had thought was her mortal enemy. That day, she found out that the ex-wife was actually a real cool person.
Each woman had an opportunity that day to talk about all the hurt and pain they went through because of this one man. The ex-wife revealed to Yvette that she found out about her being pregnant on her way to work, on the morning that James wanted to be spiteful and tell her about everything. James used to tell his wife that Yvette would say rude things about her. They shared many stories that day, but the one thing they said they would also do was to make sure their children would always have a relationship.
I know that there are millions of people out there who can relate to this story. For those like me who are presently living it, this story needed to be told. If you have ever thought about moving forward and doing the same thing, don’t wait. DO IT, BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO SHORT!
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