Stella is ready to get her groove back! by Miss Tee

As a single parent, dating can be a little scary, especially if you're just beginning to put yourself "out there." With everyday life issues, work, bills, family, friends and being a single mother etc… With all of that to do, who has time to even think about dating someone? I started to wonder was I the only single mother out here who felt this way? Now days there is so many rules and regulations to dating, and from a single parent stand point, this brings on a whole other set of rules.



Have you ever dated someone and it started off great and you found yourself really enjoying this time with this person. As time goes by your learning more and more about this person, but now you’re wondering if you should introduce your children to this person? How soon is too soon? There is nobody that can tell you when it’s a good time to include your kids in your new relationship. However speaking from past experience I can say, the more you get to know this person and build a foundation together and you do not included the kids, this could later lead to some serious issues in your relationship. Find out below about a great acronym "CHECK" this can help, also very soon I will have story about this topic “stay tune”!


Don’t let being a single parent stop you from finding someone special, it’s now time for you to step outside your comfort zone and take a leap of faith and enjoy yourself!



Below are some of the following tips to help you adjust your expectations and will prepare you to re-enter the dating world. Email me or leave a comment to let me know what you think?



 

Consider Why Dating is Important to You

Before you being dating, online or otherwise, give some serious thought to why you want to be in a dating relationship in the first place. Are you hoping for companionship, fun, or validation? Knowing what you're looking for from the outset can help you avoid some of the most common relationship mistakes.

 

Talk With Your Kids About Your Desire to Date

Being open with your children about your desire to date will make the transition easier for all of you. It's important to remember, too, that your kids may strongly resist the idea of sharing you or giving up hope that you'll reunite with your ex, so be extra sensitive to their feelings and concerns as you prepare them for the reality that you'll soon begin dating.

 

Decide How You're Going to "Put Yourself Out There"

There are many ways re-enter the dating world, from online dating to asking someone out on your own. Remember, too, that not every date has to be an evening event. It's fine to shart with something more casual like meeting for lunch or a quick drink after work.

 

Use the Acronym "CHECK" to Make Wise Dating Choices

Whether you're looking through online dating profiles or being introduced to the friend of a friend, it's important to know what you're looking for. The acronym "CHECK" can help. The letters stand for Character, Healthy relationships, Easy to be around, Children, and Kindness.

Know What Your Personal Deal Breakers Are

It's crucial that you know from the very beginning what you will tolerate in a dating relationship and what you will not. These common "deal breakers" can help you avoid heartache down the road and more quickly find satisfaction in your dating relationships.

 

Plan Ahead for Physical Intimacy

Finally, decisions about birth control and physical intimacy need to be made up front. In addition, consider sharing your choices with a trusted friend who will help you be accountable to your decisions, as well.

 

Decide Whether to Introduce Dates to Your Children

You may find that introducing dates as "friends" makes this issue easier for your children, but it's important to talk with each date ahead of time about your plans, so that they'll know why you may seem more formal with them in front of your children. Alternatively, wait until things become more serious before introducing your children at all.

Are Pregnancies Really Ever ‘Unplanned’?

With all of the debate surrounding Planned Parenthood and the obvious right-wing attack on abortion, American women are being forced to reevaluate reproductive responsibility. Although a mere three percent of Planned Parenthood services can be attributed to abortions, the idea of terminating “unplanned” pregnancies is one to be reexamined.

Is getting pregnant after a one-night stand poor planning or a consequence of irresponsibility? After regular unprotected sex with your boyfriend, is it really a surprise to see a pregnancy test register positive? It would appear reproductive rights have become the remedy for poor decision-making.

Excluding the miniscule fraction of abortions performed as a result of rape and incest, the seeds are planted during consensual sex. Many still willingly engage in unprotected sex; and, at best, contraception only protects against pregnancy ninety-nine percent of the time. So, there is always a small chance for fertilization. Therefore, sexually active women are aware that pregnancy is always a possibility; and, since the vast majority of women seeking abortions (over 95 percent) willingly put themselves at risk of becoming pregnant, wouldn’t a more fitting term be unintended or, perhaps, inconvenient.

Nearly half of all pregnancies in the United States are unintentional and four out of 10 of those are terminated by abortion. According to statistics, half of women ages 15-44 who have had one abortion will also have another. Women in their twenties account for 57 percent of induced abortions. Because married women rarely terminate pregnancies, planned or unintended, 45 percent of abortions occur with non-cohabitating women who have never been married. Among the common reasons women give for having abortions are interference with work or school, not wanting to be a single parent and problems with the biological fathers. Things that should be considered before having sex.

When you lay down for intercourse, you are essentially accepting the possibility of getting pregnant and hoping it doesn’t happen. If you don’t want to be a single mother, rational thinking says it would be wise not to sleep with men to whom you are not married. If a child is going to interfere with your career ambitions, maybe you should postpone sex to prevent derailing. As funding dissipates and the reversal of Roe v. Wade looms, women will be tasked with curbing their sexual behavior as it won’t be so safe or easy to get rid of unwanted babies.
The only fool-proof protection against pregnancy is abstinence. So, maybe the real question is, is premarital sex worth it? We are ultimately the controllers of our destinies and responsible for utilizing our gift to reproduce accordingly.


 LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship advice columnist and blogger. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio, and she has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. She is also the founder of Politically Unapologetic, where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter or visit her on Facebook.

THE FRONT ROW!

Life is a Theater… Invite Your Audience Carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row in our lives. There are some people in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay close attention. Which ones lift you up, and Which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or do you feel worst? Which ones don’t really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…. The easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life? Remember that the people that we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and income. And so, we must be careful to choose the people that we hang out with as well as the information with which we feed our minds. We should not share our dreams with NEGATIVE people, nor feed them with

NEGATIVE thoughts.

Who’s in your front row?

Do You Settle For Less In Relationships?

This is for all my single ladies out there that are now trying to wrap their heads around being single. Never give up on love it's out there!

When you stop looking it comes right to you! 

Fear That You Won’t Find Anyone Else

Let’s face it. It’s not easy to find (or be found) by Mr. Right; and unfortunately we’re reminded of this fact quite frequently through our interaction with single girlfriends and news specials specifically targeted to “The Troubled, Single Black Woman’. With this in mind, we grow more skeptical to let go of a relationship in fear of not finding anyone else. For a woman who strongly wants to be in a relationship, the option of being single is less attractive than staying in an unfulfilling relationship.

Hold On In Hopes Of Changing Him

It’s almost a natural instinct for women to think we can change a man’s behavior. You’re spiritual and hope to convince him to love church just as much as you. You want to get married soon, but he doesn’t see marriage in the radar anytime soon. Still, you stick around in hopes of convincing him to see it your way. Although, we’ve all heard it before, we still don’t abide by the principal that people have to want to change in order to change. With this being said, you can’t base your relationship on ‘what-ifs’ or ‘when this happens then…’, because It may never happen. He may never see things your way. If you can’t love him for who he is at the moment, you are doing the both of you an injustice. You deserve someone who has a vision similar to yours and he deserves someone who doesn’t nag him about his lack of vision.

Hold On In Hopes of Changing Ourselves

I’ve been told I’m too picky; but this statement mainly came from men who were on totally different pages that I was. Still, at the time I thought that I was requiring too much and that I needed to change my outlook on relationships and requirements. Now that I look back, what I was asking wasn’t necessarily too picky. Instead, it just wasn’t what the person I was with was willing to give. Lesson learned, you don’t necessarily have to change yourself (unless it’s for the best and self-improvement) but instead change the person you’re with.

You’re Unsure Of What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

If you’ve never seen a healthy relationship, how are you expected to know what it entails? For this reason, some women may choose to stay in an unfulfilling situation because we don’t know what fulfilling looks or feels like. While I may not have all the answers, I’m certain that if you can barely stand to look at your mate or he irritates you more than he makes you smile, it’s pretty safe to assume that it isn’t fulfilling.

You’re Really Not Ready To Be Single

Some women haven’t mastered the art of enjoying the single life. The word single automatically raises fear. Instead of going back to the single life of loneliness, they stay in a relationship that is secretly just a lonely. Sure, there’s a physical presence of someone else; but if that person isn’t satisfying them it’s the closest thing to being lonely.

Women of Empowerment W.O.E. are doing it once again! SEE HOW YOU CAN JOIN US!

W.O.E is on the move once again!

 It's time once again for our Women of Empowerment Gathering! Our last gathering was a very soul searching event with each woman sharing her ideas and knowledge about life and business!

Don't miss out on this empowering movement!  

Come out and take part in this lyfe changing experience!!! And prepare to be inspired and empowered by women who have a passion for giving back...

Enlightening conversations and the exchange of knowledge and ideas will be in the air.

This is where the beginning of movements are born...You don't want to miss this :)

Ladies bring your information regarding your service, organization and/or desire to give of your time or talent..as well as an open heart!

Hope to see you all there, feel free to contact me for any further information!

Iron sharpens Iron....

Twanna Copeland

theessenceofone@gmail.com

Ayneka "Neka" Scott

diamonds_pearls@ymail.com

When:

Saturday, June 4th at 11:00 AM

Where:

"Piccadilly"1265 Mount Zion Rd Morrow, GA 30260

10% off all meals!