Stella is ready to get her groove back! by Miss Tee

As a single parent, dating can be a little scary, especially if you're just beginning to put yourself "out there." With everyday life issues, work, bills, family, friends and being a single mother etc… With all of that to do, who has time to even think about dating someone? I started to wonder was I the only single mother out here who felt this way? Now days there is so many rules and regulations to dating, and from a single parent stand point, this brings on a whole other set of rules.



Have you ever dated someone and it started off great and you found yourself really enjoying this time with this person. As time goes by your learning more and more about this person, but now you’re wondering if you should introduce your children to this person? How soon is too soon? There is nobody that can tell you when it’s a good time to include your kids in your new relationship. However speaking from past experience I can say, the more you get to know this person and build a foundation together and you do not included the kids, this could later lead to some serious issues in your relationship. Find out below about a great acronym "CHECK" this can help, also very soon I will have story about this topic “stay tune”!


Don’t let being a single parent stop you from finding someone special, it’s now time for you to step outside your comfort zone and take a leap of faith and enjoy yourself!



Below are some of the following tips to help you adjust your expectations and will prepare you to re-enter the dating world. Email me or leave a comment to let me know what you think?



 

Consider Why Dating is Important to You

Before you being dating, online or otherwise, give some serious thought to why you want to be in a dating relationship in the first place. Are you hoping for companionship, fun, or validation? Knowing what you're looking for from the outset can help you avoid some of the most common relationship mistakes.

 

Talk With Your Kids About Your Desire to Date

Being open with your children about your desire to date will make the transition easier for all of you. It's important to remember, too, that your kids may strongly resist the idea of sharing you or giving up hope that you'll reunite with your ex, so be extra sensitive to their feelings and concerns as you prepare them for the reality that you'll soon begin dating.

 

Decide How You're Going to "Put Yourself Out There"

There are many ways re-enter the dating world, from online dating to asking someone out on your own. Remember, too, that not every date has to be an evening event. It's fine to shart with something more casual like meeting for lunch or a quick drink after work.

 

Use the Acronym "CHECK" to Make Wise Dating Choices

Whether you're looking through online dating profiles or being introduced to the friend of a friend, it's important to know what you're looking for. The acronym "CHECK" can help. The letters stand for Character, Healthy relationships, Easy to be around, Children, and Kindness.

Know What Your Personal Deal Breakers Are

It's crucial that you know from the very beginning what you will tolerate in a dating relationship and what you will not. These common "deal breakers" can help you avoid heartache down the road and more quickly find satisfaction in your dating relationships.

 

Plan Ahead for Physical Intimacy

Finally, decisions about birth control and physical intimacy need to be made up front. In addition, consider sharing your choices with a trusted friend who will help you be accountable to your decisions, as well.

 

Decide Whether to Introduce Dates to Your Children

You may find that introducing dates as "friends" makes this issue easier for your children, but it's important to talk with each date ahead of time about your plans, so that they'll know why you may seem more formal with them in front of your children. Alternatively, wait until things become more serious before introducing your children at all.

Are Pregnancies Really Ever ‘Unplanned’?

With all of the debate surrounding Planned Parenthood and the obvious right-wing attack on abortion, American women are being forced to reevaluate reproductive responsibility. Although a mere three percent of Planned Parenthood services can be attributed to abortions, the idea of terminating “unplanned” pregnancies is one to be reexamined.

Is getting pregnant after a one-night stand poor planning or a consequence of irresponsibility? After regular unprotected sex with your boyfriend, is it really a surprise to see a pregnancy test register positive? It would appear reproductive rights have become the remedy for poor decision-making.

Excluding the miniscule fraction of abortions performed as a result of rape and incest, the seeds are planted during consensual sex. Many still willingly engage in unprotected sex; and, at best, contraception only protects against pregnancy ninety-nine percent of the time. So, there is always a small chance for fertilization. Therefore, sexually active women are aware that pregnancy is always a possibility; and, since the vast majority of women seeking abortions (over 95 percent) willingly put themselves at risk of becoming pregnant, wouldn’t a more fitting term be unintended or, perhaps, inconvenient.

Nearly half of all pregnancies in the United States are unintentional and four out of 10 of those are terminated by abortion. According to statistics, half of women ages 15-44 who have had one abortion will also have another. Women in their twenties account for 57 percent of induced abortions. Because married women rarely terminate pregnancies, planned or unintended, 45 percent of abortions occur with non-cohabitating women who have never been married. Among the common reasons women give for having abortions are interference with work or school, not wanting to be a single parent and problems with the biological fathers. Things that should be considered before having sex.

When you lay down for intercourse, you are essentially accepting the possibility of getting pregnant and hoping it doesn’t happen. If you don’t want to be a single mother, rational thinking says it would be wise not to sleep with men to whom you are not married. If a child is going to interfere with your career ambitions, maybe you should postpone sex to prevent derailing. As funding dissipates and the reversal of Roe v. Wade looms, women will be tasked with curbing their sexual behavior as it won’t be so safe or easy to get rid of unwanted babies.
The only fool-proof protection against pregnancy is abstinence. So, maybe the real question is, is premarital sex worth it? We are ultimately the controllers of our destinies and responsible for utilizing our gift to reproduce accordingly.


 LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship advice columnist and blogger. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio, and she has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. She is also the founder of Politically Unapologetic, where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter or visit her on Facebook.

THE FRONT ROW!

Life is a Theater… Invite Your Audience Carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row in our lives. There are some people in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay close attention. Which ones lift you up, and Which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or do you feel worst? Which ones don’t really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…. The easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life? Remember that the people that we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and income. And so, we must be careful to choose the people that we hang out with as well as the information with which we feed our minds. We should not share our dreams with NEGATIVE people, nor feed them with

NEGATIVE thoughts.

Who’s in your front row?

Do You Settle For Less In Relationships?

This is for all my single ladies out there that are now trying to wrap their heads around being single. Never give up on love it's out there!

When you stop looking it comes right to you! 

Fear That You Won’t Find Anyone Else

Let’s face it. It’s not easy to find (or be found) by Mr. Right; and unfortunately we’re reminded of this fact quite frequently through our interaction with single girlfriends and news specials specifically targeted to “The Troubled, Single Black Woman’. With this in mind, we grow more skeptical to let go of a relationship in fear of not finding anyone else. For a woman who strongly wants to be in a relationship, the option of being single is less attractive than staying in an unfulfilling relationship.

Hold On In Hopes Of Changing Him

It’s almost a natural instinct for women to think we can change a man’s behavior. You’re spiritual and hope to convince him to love church just as much as you. You want to get married soon, but he doesn’t see marriage in the radar anytime soon. Still, you stick around in hopes of convincing him to see it your way. Although, we’ve all heard it before, we still don’t abide by the principal that people have to want to change in order to change. With this being said, you can’t base your relationship on ‘what-ifs’ or ‘when this happens then…’, because It may never happen. He may never see things your way. If you can’t love him for who he is at the moment, you are doing the both of you an injustice. You deserve someone who has a vision similar to yours and he deserves someone who doesn’t nag him about his lack of vision.

Hold On In Hopes of Changing Ourselves

I’ve been told I’m too picky; but this statement mainly came from men who were on totally different pages that I was. Still, at the time I thought that I was requiring too much and that I needed to change my outlook on relationships and requirements. Now that I look back, what I was asking wasn’t necessarily too picky. Instead, it just wasn’t what the person I was with was willing to give. Lesson learned, you don’t necessarily have to change yourself (unless it’s for the best and self-improvement) but instead change the person you’re with.

You’re Unsure Of What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

If you’ve never seen a healthy relationship, how are you expected to know what it entails? For this reason, some women may choose to stay in an unfulfilling situation because we don’t know what fulfilling looks or feels like. While I may not have all the answers, I’m certain that if you can barely stand to look at your mate or he irritates you more than he makes you smile, it’s pretty safe to assume that it isn’t fulfilling.

You’re Really Not Ready To Be Single

Some women haven’t mastered the art of enjoying the single life. The word single automatically raises fear. Instead of going back to the single life of loneliness, they stay in a relationship that is secretly just a lonely. Sure, there’s a physical presence of someone else; but if that person isn’t satisfying them it’s the closest thing to being lonely.

Women of Empowerment W.O.E. are doing it once again! SEE HOW YOU CAN JOIN US!

W.O.E is on the move once again!

 It's time once again for our Women of Empowerment Gathering! Our last gathering was a very soul searching event with each woman sharing her ideas and knowledge about life and business!

Don't miss out on this empowering movement!  

Come out and take part in this lyfe changing experience!!! And prepare to be inspired and empowered by women who have a passion for giving back...

Enlightening conversations and the exchange of knowledge and ideas will be in the air.

This is where the beginning of movements are born...You don't want to miss this :)

Ladies bring your information regarding your service, organization and/or desire to give of your time or talent..as well as an open heart!

Hope to see you all there, feel free to contact me for any further information!

Iron sharpens Iron....

Twanna Copeland

theessenceofone@gmail.com

Ayneka "Neka" Scott

diamonds_pearls@ymail.com

When:

Saturday, June 4th at 11:00 AM

Where:

"Piccadilly"1265 Mount Zion Rd Morrow, GA 30260

10% off all meals!

What I love about being a black woman!

We know, we know. Sadly, not all black women love themselves. Low self esteem, environment and a host of other elements can affect how any woman, regardless of race, will feel about herself. But recently an Essence Magazine study found that “African-American women are twice as likely to feel positive about their beauty. That’s certainly encouraging! It’s no coincidence that we appreciate ourselves a tad bit more than other woman. Here are some reasons why…

1. Less Likely to Buy Into Unrealistic Standards

There used to be a time, not too long ago, when a black face on the television screen or a magazine cover was hard to come by. Sure times have changed and black women are featured more frequently but still no where near the rate and frequency of our white counterparts. It’s a double-edged sword. While some talented models, actresses and t.v. personalities miss out on jobs, it also means that we are not as inundated with airbrushed mid sections, lightened complexions and extravagant hair extensions. Instead as little girls, our beauty ideals come from women who were accessible to us. Our mothers, our neighbors, our teachers etc. You know real women.

2. Confidence

This character trait is definitely not limited to black women. Most women who are considered beautiful radiate some level of confidence. We can assume if black women are more comfortable with their beauty, then they’re more likely to be confident in their interactions with other people. It’s a cyclical relationship. Appreciation for your beauty builds confidence and your confidence allows others to readily recognize your beauty.



3. Different Beauty Standards from Mainstream America

Speaking of beauty…ours is a little different. Now don’t get me wrong, we’re grown enough to accept and acknowledge that there is more than one definition of beauty; but you can’t bring up the subject without mentioning us. From our unique, ever-changing tresses, to our high cheekbones, wide hips and rounded bottoms we are truly a sight to behold.



4. Acceptance and Embracement of Ethnic Features

Remember the days when [mainstream] women used to talk about their butts looking big? I remember the first time I heard that as a child. I was too confused. Where I came from a big booty was something you dreamed about, if you weren’t blessed with it genetically. Not so for some people. Go figure. We managed to embrace our assets long before women started oogling over J-Lo and the Booty-Pop became an infomercial hit. We like our wider than button noses and how could I ever forget those luscious lips? Ooo those magnificent lips!



5. Our Skin

Something about the way light reflects off our skin is glorious. No matter your shade, if you look down at your skin in the summer you’ll notice a certain glow. It’s lovely! We can thank Mr. Melanin for that. The extra melanin keeps our skin oilier than other races. While this can be a bit of a hassle, oilier skin delays the affects of



6. Admiration and Celebration of the “thicker”/ “curvier” frame

Since the days of pin-up girls, specifically Marilyn Monroe, the optimal size for models has gotten smaller and smaller. But for better or worse (i.e. obesity) the black community has always celebrated the curves.

 

7. Diversity of Features

 

Contrary to stereotypical opinion, black people are some of the most diverse people on the earth. For evidence you need look no further than Africa. People in Egypt look nothing like the people in the Congo. It’s a genetic party over there. I once heard that if the entire population were suddenly wiped out, you could rebuild in Africa. It makes sense. That’s where it all started.

8. Appreciation from the Fellas (regardless of race)

While we don’t need a man to make us feel beautiful, it certainly doesn’t hurt to hear them singing our praises. Back in the days when we didn’t see ourselves in the media, kind of like we do today, we had men who reaffirmed our beauty. And in case “you ain’t know” it’s not just the brothers who are out here checking for us.



9. Knowledge of our history

You must have noticed that people who are culturally aware generally have a greater sense of pride which often translates to a higher self appreciation. In fact there was a study that supported this observation not too long ago. It was this very reason that Black Nationalism focused so heavily on embracing our African heritage, to inspire a sense of pride.

10. Perseverance

For the longest, black women sat at the bottom of the totem pole in this country. You know “the order” white man, white woman, black man, black woman. (Who knows what position the other races fell in.) But despite, this position black women have managed to make the best of a horrible situation. Not only have we served as the backbone of our own communities, we didn’t get lost in the sauce. Black women have made huge gains in the areas of education and business. Sure we have our problems, just like everybody else, but there’s so much to love!

What do you love about being a black woman?

Women of Purpose Presents!

I want to start off by thanking Diamonds and Pearls for the invite. I myself was spiritually feed by everyone that was present and I want to just say thank you to everyone. Cant wait to do it again next month. I have attached a flyer for Women of Purpose fashion show that will be held this weekend.

Mariana Miley



PLEASE JOIN US FOR FOOD, FASHION & FUN

Saturday April 23, 2011

at

South Cobb Recreation Center

875 Six Flags Drive SW

Austell, GA 30168

4:00 p.m.

Performances by: TBA

 

Special Guest Performances by: Gospel Rapper/Minister E-HUD

Music provided by: DJ C Animal

Contact: 678-315-9030 or 678-758-8661

For more info

*** Tickets are $5 - Refreshments will be sold ***

 

Beyond Greatness Event Planning
"NEW BLOGSITE"
http://www.beyondgreatnesseventplanning.blogspot.com/

The Essence of One first Empowerment Brunch! Learn how you can be a part of this life changing experience!

Ladies who are of greatness!

What does Empowerment mean?

Refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social, or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in your own capacities.

“ … our stories contain the answers to each other’s questions. What I cannot find in searching through the riches and rubble of my own life may become apparent to me in the witnessing of yours.

“In the passing on of our stories, we gift each other with the power of possibility. When I watch you claim your life and go after your dream, I begin to believe I can do it, too. When I see what you risk to achieve what you want, I think that I, too, could take that chance. When I hear what you have suffered while I see you trudging forward, I believe I can make it to the other side of my own darkness. What can save us if it is not our stories, not the careful sharing of who we are and what we dream for a world whose future rests in our hands?”

-- Jan, from ‘A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind’

 

Ms. Neka and Ms. Tee founders of WOE!



Words cannot express the joy and utter sense of empowerment I felt after our brunch!! It is my pray that you all were touched in the same manner ;-)

I wanted to say Thank You again for giving us your time and sharing so much about yourselves your dreams and your desires.

We will keep the momentum going so be on the lookout for next month’s locations the time will hopefully be the same!! Ladies each of you blessed us beyond measure and we sincerely hope to keep this connection with each of you.... As we Soaring to New Heights!!!

Sincerely

Neka Scott & Twanna Copeland



 Check out more pictures from our Empowerment Brunch!



This did not have to happen?

Is this a face of a killer or a woman who needed help?

I know this story is all over the news and everybody is still trying to wrap their heads around what happen? As a mother of course I was thinking “how could this woman just up and kill herself and her babies? So many other questions came to my mind.

There was a part in this article that stated before this mother took her life and her children's life, she somewhat came to her senses but of course it was too late! I wonder if it was at that moment, she knew no issues were worth her killing herself or her children, and maybe I can move forward and build a better life for me and my children! Of course at this point in time we will never know. I’m sure you can think of at least one friend that you know is also having domestic issues? Of course we don’t want to get involved  but you don't have to get involved!  Just understand there's nothing wrong with giving a friend some encouraging words at times. You would not believe how words can change someone else's life!

I wonder if a friend or a family member’s encouraging words could’ve saved Lashanda Armstrong and her babies’ lives.

The unhinged mother who drove her minivan off a Newburgh dock and into the Hudson River told her four children that she wasn’t leaving this world alone.
“If I’m going to die, you’re going to die with me,” Lashanda Armstrong told the children before the vehicle sank to the bottom of the river just before 8 p.m. on Tuesday, the only surviving child told authorities.
Armstrong’s 10-year-old son, Lashaun, escaped the doomed family minivan – opening a power window and swimming to safety in the two minutes it took for the vehicle to sink.
But as he wriggled out of the window, his mother snatched his pants leg. “I made a mistake,” she said before finally releasing the boy, the child told authorities.
After swimming to shore, the dripping-wet Lashaun made it to the road, where he was picked up by Meave Ryan, a good Samaritan who took the boy to a nearby firehouse

“He was waving his hands, screaming ‘Help me!’” said Ryan, 31. “He said, ‘My mommy just drove the car into the water."


Shivering and barely able to speak, little Lashaun told firefighters how his mother had launched the van into the river with his siblings inside and how, just moments before, she dialed her dad for help, the kids screaming in the background.
“I’m sorry, I’m going to do something crazy,” Armstrong said, according to the boy’s story
That prompted a 911 call that brought police to her Newburgh home, but it was too late.
Police wouldn’t confirm details of the domestic dispute that preceded the murder-suicide inside the tan van, but neighbors said Armstrong and longtime boyfriend Jean Pierre were frequent fighters in their second-floor home

DON'T MISS OUT YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT!

You're Invite

Come out and take part in this lyfe changing experience!!! And prepare to be inspired and empowered by women who have a passion for giving back...

Enlightening conversations and the exchange of knowledge and ideas will be in the air.

This is where the beginning of movements are born...You don't want to miss this :)

Ladies bring your information regarding your service, organization and/or desire to give of your time or talent..as well as an open heart!

Hope to see you all there, feel free to contact me for any further information!

Iron sharpens Iron....

Ayneka "Neka" Scott
diamonds_pearls@ymail.com


Twanna Copeland
theessenceofone@gmail.com


When:
Saturday, April 16 at 11:00 AM


Where:
"Piccadilly"1265 Mount Zion Rd Morrow, GA 30260


10% off all meals!

Have you ever done something unhealthy for love?

Most people, men and women, do want love- and that’s a great goal to have. But are you in a relationship where you continually find yourself going the distance because you think you’re in “love.” Have you ever done unhealthy things or made unhealthy sacrifices for someone you thought you loved? Sometimes we women will stretch ourselves to the limit- all in the name of “love.” And it can to turn out to be quite unhealthy and unhappy for us because sometimes what we think is love really isn’t. And sometimes the one we love doesn’t truly deserve the love we have to give.

Remember this: There is always an emotional and even physical cost to being in love. But there are also wonderful benefits if you’ve found real love. Real love is something that involves work and sacrifice, but it also something that enriches and elevates you to an even better place. It isn’t something where you have to do unhealthy and compromising things to obtain or maintain it.
So before you make any decision for love, think about the cost and benefit. Why? Because your love is too precious to give to just anyone. Here are 5 unhealthy things women often do for love:



1. Give up our identity

Are you the type of women that falls off the radar with friends or abandons your career/hobbies as soon as you fall in love? Not a good move. One of the most unhealthy things you can do for love is abandon what makes you you. Ladies, you should always maintain your identity and independence when in love. That’s what makes you a whole person. That’s what made a man fall for you. And that’s what’s going to keep you whole if the love ever leaves

2. Try to “work with” a man

This is another unhealthy thing women do for love. We try to work with a man that isn’t worth the time, effort, or love. Have you ever dealt with a man that claimed to love you, but then continually disrespected you and the relationship by his behavior? Women need to accept that some men have no sense of integrity or character. And they will say and even do anything to get what they want from a woman that they know loves them. Men like this do not love you. And most importantly, they don’t deserve for you to love them.

3. Have sex to create love

Sometimes women choose to have sex with a man because we think it will strengthen the bond and magically manifest love. The reality is that men can have sex without attachment. That is not the case for women. Recognize and accept that. Love is love, and sex is sex. And it’s not healthy to make love to a man while he’s just having sex with you.

4. Avoid setting standards

I know numerous women that make remarks like “I love him and I know he loves me, so I don’t need him to make a commitment.” Basically what these women are saying is this: I don’t really love myself so I’m fulfilled with whatever “love” he’s giving me. And if I can recognize that, then the man you supposedly “love” can most definitely recognize it as well. It’s not healthy to avoid having a basic set of relationship standards. When a woman has standards it’s because she loves and values herself. And you will never truly find love until you first love yourself.

5. Ignore red flag

What’s another unhealthy thing women do for love? We put aside all logic. And one way we do this is by ignoring red flags. Sometimes the red flags are tiny like if a man tells endless and unnecessary little white lies. And sometimes the red flags are as subtle as a flying brick upside our head. In either case, we ignore the red flag(s) because we think we’re in love. Not a healthy move. When a man subtly or overtly reveals himself to be a certain type of individual, believe it! Do not ignore red flags all in the name of love

Tips for Celibate Singles!

Thank you so much Wanda for your continuing support and I really needed that kick in my ass! ;oP I promise more stories and interviews to follow. In the words of my Fairy God Mother

 "My greatness has just started"!

Jill Scott:

Celibacy Blues Lyrics

                                                     This here celibacy thing

Lord, just got somethin’ over me

like an addict, I could really use a thing

You know what I’m talkin’about?

It’s been hard to sleep at night

Night, scratchin’ it right

I get some new batteries almost every night

Lord, this here celibacy thing

The stresses of this world

You know how they come down on a girl

I’m tryin’ to clear my mind

But all I seem to find is this gangsta

Gangsta type of need

People say mind over matter

But I don’t mind what they say

And it don’t matter

This here celibacy thing is workin’ on me

Sometimes, being single comes with being celibate. This is especially so if you have reached the age of 50, don't date and have no social life. But celibacy usually becomes easier with age. Cultural, moral and religious obligations and expectations are also some of the reasons why older single women abstain from sexual relations.
Younger singles are choosing to celibate even with sexual and reproductive freedom these days for various reasons like ...

• Don't believe in casual sex
• Want to wait until an emotional attachment is developed
• Wait until they are legally married
• Asexual or having low sex drive
• Cautious because they are afraid of contacting diseases like STD and HIV
• Avoiding unexpected pregnancy
• Went through a very painful and bad childhood experience associated with it

But it doesn't mean that they don't want to have a relationship. They still want to date, look for companionship and attention. But until they are certain, they would rather develop a platonic relationship.


For some people being abstinent is hard. Some find it unusual that there are people who choose to control their libido needs. Celibacy becomes a problem only if it happens in a marriage and if only one partner decides to abstain from getting physical and intimate.


The other disadvantage is that it can become a little difficult to find a date or develop a relationship with those who don't understand their personal choice and decision. To solve the problem, these singles join dating and networking websites for celibate singles. If you do a search, you'll find a few free ones.


If you are thinking of trying to abstain yourself from your urge and desire and test how long you can last, here are some tips.

 Focus your mind on something that consumes your thoughts and energy. This has to be something important and that you are passionate about.

 Stay away from materials in any form that are erotic or might arouse and stimulate your desires and urges. This includes men.

You're Invite

Come out and take part in this lyfe changing experience!!! And prepare to be inspired and empowered by women who have a passion for giving back...

Enlightening conversations and the exchange of knowledge and ideas will be in the air.

This is where the beginning of movements are born...You don't want to miss this :)

Ladies bring your information regarding your service, organization and/or desire to give of your time or talent..as well as an open heart!

 Hope to see you all there, feel free to contact me for any further information!

Iron sharpens Iron....

Ayneka "Neka" Scott
diamonds_pearls@ymail.com
Twanna Copeland
diamondsandpearls@gmail.com
When:
Saturday, April 16 at 11:00 AM

Where:
"Piccadilly"1265 Mount Zion Rd Morrow, GA 30260


10% off all meals!

"Exciting News about Diamonds & Pearls Empowerment Group"

Miss Tee with some of the D&P Young ladies

Thank you so much for the e-mails and trust me I will be posting some of your articles very soon! Also to answer a few questions I've received about the D&P girls. As some of you may already know I'm now the Director of the group. Many of the articles and stories I've posted on my blog site are geared towards adults, and my upcoming articles and stories will continue to be for adults eyes only! I do not feel it's appropriate children.

If you would like to continue to follow all of D&P new jounerys I'm so proud to introduce Diamonds & Pearls Empowerment Group Inc. NEW BLOG PAGE! 

www.diamondspearlsemp.blogspot.com

Thank you all for your continuing support!

Miss. Tee

      

A Woman of Courage and this is her story!

This is not Tunisha but one of our great female officers 

Hi Tunisha, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me about yourself and your life as a single mother. We have so much to talk about let’s start at the top! 

 Tunisha, can you tell my readers a little about yourself?
Tunisha: I am 30 years of age; I have 3 children ages 14, 08, 02. I am originally from Connecticut. I have resided in Georgia since 2005. I have a career in law enforcement and I have been in law enforcement for almost 5 years now. I go to school full-time; I am working on my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice. I will have my degree by the summer of 2011. I purchased my first house when I was 28. My hobbies include reading books, exercising, traveling, watching television, cooking, spending time with my kids and family, and I can’t forget sleeping.



You are a police officer is that correct?
Yes, I am a Police Officer in the state of Georgia


 How long have you been a police officer?
Tunisha: It will be 5 years in April that I will have been an officer

Why did you want to become a police officer?
Tunisha: There really was no specific reason, why I became a police officer. I don’t think I have some type of heroic story like some people. But, I was involved in a very toxic and abusive relationship and I decided to take a stand for myself and I took action by divorcing and I moved to Georgia to be closer to my immediate family. At the time, I think as a young mother, you need family support rather it’s to help with child care or just plain out mental support. Once I moved to Georgia, I realized that I didn’t have anything because I had given everything up upon divorcing. So, I just started applying at whatever places I thought that I was qualified for and law enforcement is just what the Lord had for me at the time.


 WOW, you are very busy lady with three children ages 14, 8 and 2. How do you balance your work life, being a mother and try to have a personal life?
Tunisha: Wow, that’s a very good question, but it’s funny that you ask that. I used to have a hard time balancing my life at times. However, I think the biggest thing that has become a key thing for me to begin to at least balance my life and general things with my kids, is learning and recognizing who I am as a WOMAN. Which I think is very important for any female rather you have kids or not. As I got older, I really thought I knew who I was but, it wasn’t until I really started getting older and began to feel a shift in my mind set, which was the beginning of me understanding who I was as a woman. I began to embrace who I was and I began accepting the things that I have been through and seeing the importance of certain things about my kids and their personalities. It may not have been the dream household, but it was the start to a functioning and structured household. After, I continued to bring structure to my household and push my kids to obtain some type of independency while at home. I began to assess my personal life. I think when I first moved to Georgia, I spent so much time trying to work and accrue back everything that I had lost after my divorce. I forgot all about my personal life, so I didn’t have one for a while. By the time, I started meeting people; it was like a foreign world to me. There were a few times, when I would go out on dates and guys would ask me, what I liked to do for fun and I would simply answer by saying “I don’t know because all I do is work and take care of my children”. They would look at me like I was strange but what they didn’t know, is that I really had no idea what I liked versus what I didn’t like because I had forgot about myself. So, once I continued to search myself, it also helped to put things in perspective even with men. It made a difference in terms of what I did or didn’t expect from them rather it was sexually or not. At the start of my career, I have run into several men that have a problem with the fact that I am a police officer. They would feel intimidated, there were times when I would spend more time on a date trying to re-assure someone that my work and personal life, were separate entities, to the point where I had to tell myself that if I have to re-assure a man that he doesn’t have to be intimidated by me in a relationship, than I didn’t need to be with them. After a few dates, I began to learn that I can’t down play myself for anyone, because I am who I learned shortly that I have to have someone on my level and that knows that regardless of what either one of us do, I am a lady first and a woman first.


 Were you ever married to your children’s father?
Tunisha: No, I was never married to any of my kid’s fathers, but I have been married before


Do you have a good relationship with your children's father?
Tunisha: I have a very good relationship with my oldest sons’ father.



What level of involvement does the father play in your children's life?
Tunisha: My kid’s fathers play little to no involvement in my kids’ lives.

 You put your life on the line while you’re working, how does this affect you with being a mother?
Tunisha: My job affects me a lot as a mother. Everyday that I get up to put my uniform on I place my self and my kids in jeopardy. I was involved in an incident last year, where I was shot at by a guy that I was chasing. Luckily, no bullets struck me, but I think that incident put my mind back in perspective to allow me to know that people that commit crimes, don’t care about what you have at home. They just don’t want to go to jail and they will do anything under any means necessary to make sure that it doesn’t happen.

Do you find dating as single a mother to be a hard thing to do?
Tunisha: Yes, I do find dating s a single mother to be very difficult. I think in today’s day and age. Females either don’t trust men or we trust men too much to soon, we kind of do not have a gray area. In my case I don’t trust them at all. I have a daughter, and I am terrified of anyone doing anything to her or my son’s. It’s also hard because most men don’t understand just how much being a single mom entails. I have grown through trial and error to stand for something because I am tired of falling for anything and I think with this, it has weaned a lot of people away from me, which is what I want. Men, have become spoiled and its kind of like you have to jump through hoops and do tricks in order to get a man to stick around, and I just don’t have the energy for that and it’s not me. I am very old school with my ways and most men have been pampered by other to the point where they feel like that is not needed.

Last year I posted an article called “Single moms raising girls to remain single”! I received many comments about that article and from what I could tell it made other single mothers start to really question their selves. For me I just wasn’t just thinking about my daughter but also for my son, but of course it would be more emphases for our daughters. What are your feelings about this?
Tunisha: I don’t really have much of a feeling on that one. But, I do think as a single mom, it’s also important for single moms to teach their daughters how they should be treated by a young man or even by a grown man. A single mother should also teach her daughter, how she should carry herself as a young lady/lady. When a single mother has a potential male that she has decided to get serious with its also important for their daughter’s to see how she should be treated. I remember growing up in a two parent household; most people around me would have thought that the way my mother carried herself that as her daughter, I knew what I needed to know as a young lady and that was so far from the truth. I learned about life and how to carry myself as a young lady into developing into a woman on my own. I was never taught how to deal with men, how to put on makeup, how to respect myself so that others would respect me, I learned these things through trial and error in my own life. I am not saying that my mother was not a good mother, I just think as a mother, she didn’t know how to teach me, because her mother never taught her, so it was really a cycle.


Of course being a single mother doesn’t mean we can’t still have hopes and dreams. We both know that yes, maybe it does make things we would like to do a little harder at times, but I wouldn’t change my life for nothing in this world! Can you relate?
Tunisha: I feel that if I could go back and change my life, I would. I think the biggest thing that I would’ve changed it would have been the people that IO chose to have kids by. I think when we decide to carry a child by a man, we need to really think about the traits that child could possibly carry from the men that we choose to lay down with. I will be the first to say that I did not make eh best decision in terms of who I chose to have kids by. I don’t regret my kids, because I love them, I just regret their fathers, because the areas where my kids fathers have fell short, it has caused me to have to pick up the slack. Sometimes it can be very, very, very hard to take on more responsibility than you can really handle. I know God won’t put more on you than you can bare, but I could use a little help at times because I get weary sometimes. I took on a lot of responsibility at a young age. I had my first child when I was in the tenth grade; I was a baby having a baby. I set myself up for things that I shouldn’t have been concerning myself with. I grew up to fast and I missed out on a lot of my childhood, because I had grown up dreams. There area certain thing that I just can not teach my sons’ and having positive active fathers around definitely helps hands down.

At this time are you currently working on any projects?
Tunisha: I am working on purchasing my second house and being able to train and complete at least 2-3 marathon races this year. So the projects that I am working on are more personal ones more so than anything.


Thank you so much Tunisha!
If you have any further questions for Tunisha please send them to me at www.theessenceofone.gmail.com