Do you know yourself worth? by: Miss Tee

We all have stories and sometimes your stories can help someone else learn from your similar life experiences. If you have ever gone through issues in your life and you haven’t learned from them then that maybe a problem. I know because that was my problem. 


Do you remember when you finally realized that your child’s father or mother wasn’t the one you wanted in your life? Do you remember the physical fights, the screaming matches and all the foolishness that came with that relationship? Do you remember when you finally got the courage to move forward for your own sanity, and your children’s? I’m sure your family members and friends tried to tell you over and over again to leave him or her? Of course, for some men and women getting out of such a toxic relationship isn’t that easy. At this time in your life you may still be in that relationship and you’re trying to figure out just how to do it? I can only tell you how I did it. I believed in myself and I knew it was time! There isn’t one person who can tell you when, where or how to get out, that’s all up to you! 

It has been almost 3 years since I’ve been out of that toxic relationship and I haven’t looked back since! I had to struggle with my sanity, my kids and finances! My head started getting so much clearer and I could finally see past many of these dark days I had to deal with in the past. My kids seem so much happier and they also saw me happy! Sometimes I would look back on that relationship and I started wondering, why did I let that go on for so long? Why didn’t he love me the way I needed to be loved? Why did he allow me to be the bread winner for our family? Why did I allow him to always put me down and make me feel stupid etc…. Those “why’s questions” are no joke but you have to STOP thinking about “why”! You have to see your past just like it was “YOUR PAST” you must use this as a learning tool.


The most important thing you must do is “keep moving“, but before you can keep moving you have to breathe! Today and every day after that should be about you and your needs! The problem that most people have after a bad break up is we tend to jump right back into another bad relationship. We don’t give ourselves time to get our minds right, and to know “who we are as a person” and what is your self worth? 

Once I felt I had moved on and got my mind, kids and my finances in order, I found myself really looking for someone. It became some type of a mission for me! I wanted a man that was so totally different from my Ex. I became so focus on just that! I would make a list of what type of man I wanted. This was my first mistake! Due to me not experiencing what a real relationship was like; I would tend to hold on to what I didn’t receive in that last relationship, and made high expectations for the next one.

My approach to the next relationship was so different but my expectation was still high! I started becoming very picky. I knew specifically what type of man I wanted. This was my second mistake! Looking back on it now, when did I take the time for myself? I did not. I just moved on wanting something so different then what I felt I never had! Being lonely can be a bitch at times and for a person like myself “I hated it”!  I always felt alone even while being in that relationship, so sad but so true! Being alone can sometimes scare you. You’re then force to have to take a look inside of yourself and see who you really are! This is real talk right now, and I understand that you might not be ready to go there but for me had no choice!

Here I was making all of these high expectations for any man I met and I didn’t have myself together, and I was expecting so much from the next man! It’s not bad to have high expectations but understand two things about having high expectations ; you should clean your home out first before you can even expect to set any expectations for somebody else, and they should obtainable expectations on both parts! No man, no money and no new job etc… can bring you happiness if you’re not happy within yourself!

As a single parent my kids watched me go through all of these life changes.  Being a parent of a boy and a girl can be a challenge with in itself! To me it is extremely important that my son knows how important it is to be a good man and know his self worth. It’s equally important that my daughter, who watches’ me like a Hawk, also learns that having someone in her life is an added bonus. I know that many of you will agree with me that these days and times our kids are being raised far different than when we were growing up? I’d rather be the one to teach my children about life than allow the world to!  

I’m not ashamed to be honest in whom I am as a woman and to share my struggles and fears. As I wrote in the beginning, your past must be your learning tool! I’ve finally come to a point in my life where everything seems so much clearer and I’m now more focus then ever! I am a role model to my children and how I live my life now set the tone on how my kids will be as teenager and adults. Of course they will make their own way in life and many mistakes, but the most important thing I want my kids to understand is who they are and what is their self worth. Their mother has finally found her own self-worth!