Being a single mom and rising a biracial child.

I found this article to be very interesting! We all know there are many men and women who are raising biracial children, this is for all the single parents who maybe rising a biracial child!    

Elaine is a woman who had been involved with a man who left her a couple of months after learning she was pregnant with his child. She is white, and because he is black, she wants to know how to bring cultural richness to her daughter's life. But she also faced another dilemma: Her mother refuses to have anything to do with her or the baby, who will be biracial.

Aside from seeking out local churches, schools, community centers, and a local African American Resource Center, she still seeks advice on enriching her child’s life and how to deal with her mother’s attitude.

Here are some suggestions from single parents in similar circumstances.Vicki C. Daughtry of San Diego, a single mom raising her 16-year-old biracial daughter says: “My first thought was that even if your baby’s father is  out of the picture, his family doesn’t have to be. Can you establish relationships with any members of his family? It will be helpful to your child to know her grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc., on both sides. It’s likely, too, that they will want your daughter to be part of their lives. These relationships will help to teach your daughter about her heritage, and will provide you with some emotional support.” She adds, “You may need to make it clear to them that this isn’t an effort to get your ex-boyfriend back, or to make him pay child support. Deal with him directly on the latter issue.”

 Educate yourself 

Heather Pickard of Peabody, Mass., agrees that it’s important for your child to know her heritage.  The mother of a 3-year-old son, Heather found it important to first educate herself.

“I did this by reading books and subscribing to some largely black magazines such as Essence. Since I am a full-time student, I have taken some classes on race, and courses specifically on African-American psychology and literature. This helped open my eyes to the subtle (and not-so-subtle) racism in this country, and it will help me to prepare my son for it.  I also recommend you read  40 Ways To Raise a Nonracist Child,’ by Barbara Mathias and Mary Ann French.”

Vicki too has exposed herself and her daughter to African American
Literature, theater, film and more. “It’s important for you and for her to see a broad spectrum of culture and talent.”

 

Start mingling

“Don’t stop there, however, this won’t work if all of your contact with the black community is through a screen or a book. If you don’t have them already, get out and make friends with people of color who will be positive role models for her,” urges Vicki.

When you begin dating again, don’t assume that an African American boyfriend fills this particular bill.  You need a supportive community of friends of (many races.)

Heather, Vicki and other parents offer similar advice when it comes to
dealing with the new mother’s mom, who won’t give herself to the grandmother role.

Heather has been fortunate to have an accepting family. 

“Both my parents supported my decision to give birth to a biracial child outside of marriage.”

Vicki adds: “By now you may have given birth to your baby.  Your mother’s attitude may have improved when she saw the baby in your arms instead of seeing the idea of biracialism in an abstract sense.  Even if your mother still wants nothing to do with the baby, give the situation time.  Your mother’s love for you may overcome her prejudice.”

But if this doesn’t happen, you can explain to your child that your
mother’s ideas about race differ from yours.

Susan, another mom raising a biracial child who is estranged from her grandmother told her daughter, “Even though my mother raised me, and I love her, she has different ideas about race than I do because of the way she was raised.”