When a woman starts to mature! Miss Tee

Recently I had a conversation with a very good friend of mine, and I was explaining to him all these questions, I’ve been having within myself about my relationships with my female friends.  My friend explained to me that I’m now going thru a Maturation process (to mature).  After paying my bills, trying to raise my kids, going to work and trying to keep my car running etc…. How much more maturing could I do at 38 years old?

After thinking long and hard about my friends comment I started to understand exactly what he was talking about! I also see my maturation process as revolution of things that I see in my life that I now need to change. I never knew how scary it could be to start a new chapter in my life!

Over 28 years I have had many women as friends and I also had many issues with women, and I continue to try to develop some type of a friendship with women I have in my life now. I felt more comfortable growing up and hanging out with guys then girls. Boys were always easy to get along with. I never had to worry about dudes stabbing me in my back or talking behind my back! Hanging out with guys always got me into many fights with other girls. I also found out that once a girl gets to know you the will always change towards you and let their guard down.

From as far back as I can remember I’ve always had a strong dislike for women. I never fully trust a woman! My older sister was and is my best friend. So there was never a need to have a girlfriend. Once my sister got into a serious relationship that all changed and I found myself looking for a friend and I found one. This girl was cool, we hung out, gossiped, partied; we got into fights with other girls and we tossed guys around like we were playing basketball! This was a whole new world for me because this girl had my back like no other person has ever had my back before.

I would never allow anybody to say or do anything bad to my new best friend. Of course all that changed once my best friend started hanging out with some other girls who didn’t like me. She started talking behind my back until one day it all went down and I whipped her ass! From then on I’ve always had my guard up with other girls. Having a female for a friend is the hardest thing to do. It can sometimes be harder than making a relationship work with a man!

You would think after 28 years things would’ve changed but of course they didn’t! Yes, the fighting part stops because I realize as I got older it would take an emergency room trip to heal me!
What I’ve learned so far in my life is that it wasn’t my so call friends but me and my lack of understanding what a true friend is or how to be a true friend myself. It’s truly important for any woman to have some type of camaraderie with other women.

Have you ever had a moment where you went through something in your life, and then you often wondered if maybe another woman had went through that same experience too?  Have you ever had a moment in your life where you had a conversation with another woman who was a stranger, and from your conversation you find that you shared the same experiences? When an experience like this happens they were meant to happen! It’s so very important that we as women have those moments with each other. For a woman like me (with so many women trust issues), I find that these type encounters this gives me strength and a better understanding about other women.

 I worked for 8 years in the corporate world, and from working in that type of environment, I saw that my relationships with women had changed. I was then surrounded by women who were educated and mature. I was very excited to be around these types of women like myself, who was always striving to better themselves and always doing exciting and interesting things! I was beginning see that there was a BIG difference between mature women and girls.

Then I started getting to know these ladies after having many conversations with them. I found that even a well educated woman could sometimes be lacking confidences within themselves. This would lead some of the ladies in the office to take on that caddy, childish attitude to talk behind each other’s back by making comments about other women’s outfits, their husband or man and other women’s job performance etc…. This blew my mind, here I was working with women who carried themselves like Michelle Obama and acted like Shay-naa! You would never think ladies like that could be so petty and lack such confidence. Speaking from my own personal experiences, professional black sisters are notorious for this, and me being a black woman myself I can say this!

After writing my long blog, I have learned that it’s not about the ladies I tried to be friends with or me not knowing how to be a friend. It’s about me understanding who I am, I am a strong woman who appreciates all women but understand that we all have our flaws and we never stop growing. I will continue to look for the moments when I can meet another female, and just maybe that day I can pass on my experiences in our sisterhood!