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Sunday, April 24, 2011

What I love about being a black woman!

We know, we know. Sadly, not all black women love themselves. Low self esteem, environment and a host of other elements can affect how any woman, regardless of race, will feel about herself. But recently an Essence Magazine study found that “African-American women are twice as likely to feel positive about their beauty. That’s certainly encouraging! It’s no coincidence that we appreciate ourselves a tad bit more than other woman. Here are some reasons why…




1. Less Likely to Buy Into Unrealistic Standards
There used to be a time, not too long ago, when a black face on the television screen or a magazine cover was hard to come by. Sure times have changed and black women are featured more frequently but still no where near the rate and frequency of our white counterparts. It’s a double-edged sword. While some talented models, actresses and t.v. personalities miss out on jobs, it also means that we are not as inundated with airbrushed mid sections, lightened complexions and extravagant hair extensions. Instead as little girls, our beauty ideals come from women who were accessible to us. Our mothers, our neighbors, our teachers etc. You know real women.






2. Confidence

This character trait is definitely not limited to black women. Most women who are considered beautiful radiate some level of confidence. We can assume if black women are more comfortable with their beauty, then they’re more likely to be confident in their interactions with other people. It’s a cyclical relationship. Appreciation for your beauty builds confidence and your confidence allows others to readily recognize your beauty.



3. Different Beauty Standards from Mainstream America

Speaking of beauty…ours is a little different. Now don’t get me wrong, we’re grown enough to accept and acknowledge that there is more than one definition of beauty; but you can’t bring up the subject without mentioning us. From our unique, ever-changing tresses, to our high cheekbones, wide hips and rounded bottoms we are truly a sight to behold.



4. Acceptance and Embracement of Ethnic Features

Remember the days when [mainstream] women used to talk about their butts looking big? I remember the first time I heard that as a child. I was too confused. Where I came from a big booty was something you dreamed about, if you weren’t blessed with it genetically. Not so for some people. Go figure. We managed to embrace our assets long before women started oogling over J-Lo and the Booty-Pop became an infomercial hit. We like our wider than button noses and how could I ever forget those luscious lips? Ooo those magnificent lips!



5. Our Skin

Something about the way light reflects off our skin is glorious. No matter your shade, if you look down at your skin in the summer you’ll notice a certain glow. It’s lovely! We can thank Mr. Melanin for that. The extra melanin keeps our skin oilier than other races. While this can be a bit of a hassle, oilier skin delays the affects of



6. Admiration and Celebration of the “thicker”/ “curvier” frame

Since the days of pin-up girls, specifically Marilyn Monroe, the optimal size for models has gotten smaller and smaller. But for better or worse (i.e. obesity) the black community has always celebrated the curves.

 
7. Diversity of Features
 
Contrary to stereotypical opinion, black people are some of the most diverse people on the earth. For evidence you need look no further than Africa. People in Egypt look nothing like the people in the Congo. It’s a genetic party over there. I once heard that if the entire population were suddenly wiped out, you could rebuild in Africa. It makes sense. That’s where it all started.



8. Appreciation from the Fellas (regardless of race)

While we don’t need a man to make us feel beautiful, it certainly doesn’t hurt to hear them singing our praises. Back in the days when we didn’t see ourselves in the media, kind of like we do today, we had men who reaffirmed our beauty. And in case “you ain’t know” it’s not just the brothers who are out here checking for us.



9. Knowledge of our history

You must have noticed that people who are culturally aware generally have a greater sense of pride which often translates to a higher self appreciation. In fact there was a study that supported this observation not too long ago. It was this very reason that Black Nationalism focused so heavily on embracing our African heritage, to inspire a sense of pride.



10. Perseverance

For the longest, black women sat at the bottom of the totem pole in this country. You know “the order” white man, white woman, black man, black woman. (Who knows what position the other races fell in.) But despite, this position black women have managed to make the best of a horrible situation. Not only have we served as the backbone of our own communities, we didn’t get lost in the sauce. Black women have made huge gains in the areas of education and business. Sure we have our problems, just like everybody else, but there’s so much to love!


What do you love about being a black woman?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Women of Purpose Presents!



I want to start off by thanking Diamonds and Pearls for the invite. I myself was spiritually feed by everyone that was present and I want to just say thank you to everyone. Cant wait to do it again next month. I have attached a flyer for Women of Purpose fashion show that will be held this weekend.

Mariana Miley




PLEASE JOIN US FOR FOOD, FASHION & FUN



Saturday April 23, 2011
at

South Cobb Recreation Center

875 Six Flags Drive SW

Austell, GA 30168
4:00 p.m.

Performances by: TBA

 
Special Guest Performances by: Gospel Rapper/Minister E-HUD
Music provided by: DJ C Animal


Contact: 678-315-9030 or 678-758-8661

For more info
*** Tickets are $5 - Refreshments will be sold ***

 
Beyond Greatness Event Planning
"NEW BLOGSITE"
http://www.beyondgreatnesseventplanning.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Essence of One first Empowerment Brunch! Learn how you can be a part of this life changing experience!



Ladies who are of greatness!


What does Empowerment mean?

Refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social, or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in your own capacities.

“ … our stories contain the answers to each other’s questions. What I cannot find in searching through the riches and rubble of my own life may become apparent to me in the witnessing of yours.

“In the passing on of our stories, we gift each other with the power of possibility. When I watch you claim your life and go after your dream, I begin to believe I can do it, too. When I see what you risk to achieve what you want, I think that I, too, could take that chance. When I hear what you have suffered while I see you trudging forward, I believe I can make it to the other side of my own darkness. What can save us if it is not our stories, not the careful sharing of who we are and what we dream for a world whose future rests in our hands?”

-- Jan, from ‘A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind’
 
Ms. Neka and Ms. Tee founders of WOE!

Words cannot express the joy and utter sense of empowerment I felt after our brunch!! It is my pray that you all were touched in the same manner ;-)

I wanted to say Thank You again for giving us your time and sharing so much about yourselves your dreams and your desires.

We will keep the momentum going so be on the lookout for next month’s locations the time will hopefully be the same!! Ladies each of you blessed us beyond measure and we sincerely hope to keep this connection with each of you.... As we Soaring to New Heights!!!

Sincerely
Neka Scott & Twanna Copeland

 Check out more pictures from our Empowerment Brunch!








Saturday, April 16, 2011

This did not have to happen?

Is this a face of a killer or a woman who needed help?

I know this story is all over the news and everybody is still trying to wrap their heads around what happen? As a mother of course I was thinking “how could this woman just up and kill herself and her babies? So many other questions came to my mind.
There was a part in this article that stated before this mother took her life and her children's life, she somewhat came to her senses but of course it was too late! I wonder if it was at that moment, she knew no issues were worth her killing herself or her children, and maybe I can move forward and build a better life for me and my children! Of course at this point in time we will never know. I’m sure you can think of at least one friend that you know is also having domestic issues? Of course we don’t want to get involved  but you don't have to get involved!  Just understand there's nothing wrong with giving a friend some encouraging words at times. You would not believe how words can change someone else's life!

I wonder if a friend or a family member’s encouraging words could’ve saved Lashanda Armstrong and her babies’ lives.

The unhinged mother who drove her minivan off a Newburgh dock and into the Hudson River told her four children that she wasn’t leaving this world alone.
“If I’m going to die, you’re going to die with me,” Lashanda Armstrong told the children before the vehicle sank to the bottom of the river just before 8 p.m. on Tuesday, the only surviving child told authorities.
Armstrong’s 10-year-old son, Lashaun, escaped the doomed family minivan – opening a power window and swimming to safety in the two minutes it took for the vehicle to sink.
But as he wriggled out of the window, his mother snatched his pants leg. “I made a mistake,” she said before finally releasing the boy, the child told authorities.
After swimming to shore, the dripping-wet Lashaun made it to the road, where he was picked up by Meave Ryan, a good Samaritan who took the boy to a nearby firehouse

“He was waving his hands, screaming ‘Help me!’” said Ryan, 31. “He said, ‘My mommy just drove the car into the water."


Shivering and barely able to speak, little Lashaun told firefighters how his mother had launched the van into the river with his siblings inside and how, just moments before, she dialed her dad for help, the kids screaming in the background.
“I’m sorry, I’m going to do something crazy,” Armstrong said, according to the boy’s story
That prompted a 911 call that brought police to her Newburgh home, but it was too late.
Police wouldn’t confirm details of the domestic dispute that preceded the murder-suicide inside the tan van, but neighbors said Armstrong and longtime boyfriend Jean Pierre were frequent fighters in their second-floor home

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

DON'T MISS OUT YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT!




You're Invite
Come out and take part in this lyfe changing experience!!! And prepare to be inspired and empowered by women who have a passion for giving back...
Enlightening conversations and the exchange of knowledge and ideas will be in the air.
This is where the beginning of movements are born...You don't want to miss this :)
Ladies bring your information regarding your service, organization and/or desire to give of your time or talent..as well as an open heart!

Hope to see you all there, feel free to contact me for any further information!

Iron sharpens Iron....




Ayneka "Neka" Scott
diamonds_pearls@ymail.com


Twanna Copeland
theessenceofone@gmail.com


When:
Saturday, April 16 at 11:00 AM


Where:
"Piccadilly"1265 Mount Zion Rd Morrow, GA 30260


10% off all meals!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Have you ever done something unhealthy for love?


Remember this: There is always an emotional and even physical cost to being in love. But there are also wonderful benefits if you’ve found real love. Real love is something that involves work and sacrifice, but it also something that enriches and elevates you to an even better place. It isn’t something where you have to do unhealthy and compromising things to obtain or maintain it.
So before you make any decision for love, think about the cost and benefit. Why? Because your love is too precious to give to just anyone. Here are 5 unhealthy things women often do for love:



1. Give up our identity

Are you the type of women that falls off the radar with friends or abandons your career/hobbies as soon as you fall in love? Not a good move. One of the most unhealthy things you can do for love is abandon what makes you you. Ladies, you should always maintain your identity and independence when in love. That’s what makes you a whole person. That’s what made a man fall for you. And that’s what’s going to keep you whole if the love ever leaves


2. Try to “work with” a man

This is another unhealthy thing women do for love. We try to work with a man that isn’t worth the time, effort, or love. Have you ever dealt with a man that claimed to love you, but then continually disrespected you and the relationship by his behavior? Women need to accept that some men have no sense of integrity or character. And they will say and even do anything to get what they want from a woman that they know loves them. Men like this do not love you. And most importantly, they don’t deserve for you to love them.




3. Have sex to create love

Sometimes women choose to have sex with a man because we think it will strengthen the bond and magically manifest love. The reality is that men can have sex without attachment. That is not the case for women. Recognize and accept that. Love is love, and sex is sex. And it’s not healthy to make love to a man while he’s just having sex with you.


4. Avoid setting standards

I know numerous women that make remarks like “I love him and I know he loves me, so I don’t need him to make a commitment.” Basically what these women are saying is this: I don’t really love myself so I’m fulfilled with whatever “love” he’s giving me. And if I can recognize that, then the man you supposedly “love” can most definitely recognize it as well. It’s not healthy to avoid having a basic set of relationship standards. When a woman has standards it’s because she loves and values herself. And you will never truly find love until you first love yourself.


5. Ignore red flag

What’s another unhealthy thing women do for love? We put aside all logic. And one way we do this is by ignoring red flags. Sometimes the red flags are tiny like if a man tells endless and unnecessary little white lies. And sometimes the red flags are as subtle as a flying brick upside our head. In either case, we ignore the red flag(s) because we think we’re in love. Not a healthy move. When a man subtly or overtly reveals himself to be a certain type of individual, believe it! Do not ignore red flags all in the name of love

Friday, April 1, 2011

Tips for Celibate Singles!



Thank you so much Wanda for your continuing support and I really needed that kick in my ass! ;oP I promise more stories and interviews to follow. In the words of my Fairy God Mother

 "My greatness has just started"!


Jill Scott:
Celibacy Blues Lyrics
                                                     This here celibacy thing
Lord, just got somethin’ over me
like an addict, I could really use a thing

You know what I’m talkin’about?
It’s been hard to sleep at night
Night, scratchin’ it right

I get some new batteries almost every night
Lord, this here celibacy thing
The stresses of this world

You know how they come down on a girl
I’m tryin’ to clear my mind
But all I seem to find is this gangsta

Gangsta type of need
People say mind over matter
But I don’t mind what they say

And it don’t matter
This here celibacy thing is workin’ on me

Sometimes, being single comes with being celibate. This is especially so if you have reached the age of 50, don't date and have no social life. But celibacy usually becomes easier with age. Cultural, moral and religious obligations and expectations are also some of the reasons why older single women abstain from sexual relations.
Younger singles are choosing to celibate even with sexual and reproductive freedom these days for various reasons like ...
  • Don't believe in casual sex
  • Want to wait until an emotional attachment is developed
  • Wait until they are legally married
  • Asexual or having low sex drive
  • Cautious because they are afraid of contacting diseases like STD and HIV
  • Avoiding unexpected pregnancy
  • Went through a very painful and bad childhood experience associated with it
But it doesn't mean that they don't want to have a relationship. They still want to date, look for companionship and attention. But until they are certain, they would rather develop a platonic relationship.


For some people being abstinent is hard. Some find it unusual that there are people who choose to control their libido needs. Celibacy becomes a problem only if it happens in a marriage and if only one partner decides to abstain from getting physical and intimate.


The other disadvantage is that it can become a little difficult to find a date or develop a relationship with those who don't understand their personal choice and decision. To solve the problem, these singles join dating and networking websites for celibate singles. If you do a search, you'll find a few free ones.


If you are thinking of trying to abstain yourself from your urge and desire and test how long you can last, here are some tips.

 
Focus your mind on something that consumes your thoughts and energy. This has to be something important and that you are passionate about.

 
Stay away from materials in any form that are erotic or might arouse and stimulate your desires and urges. This includes men.