T
he stereotypes of the Black men of Generations Y, ages 18 to 25 consist of being poor, lazy and promiscuous. These images give the notion that in this "hip-generation" there is a shortage of outstanding Black men, which is not true. This is unfair to majority of Black men who strive to change the statistics. Black men have to defend themselves every day at institutions of higher learning, the workplace and in their communicative.
There are various institutions of higher learning that promote a healthier image of Black men while helping to refine them as they earn their degrees. Whether at a historically Black institution or not, higher education is valuable in the development of a mature man.
Do you know Black men, who are upholding the tradition of achievement, striving for excellence and battling society's negative stereotypes?
Well I do! I've been so blessed to have met and worked with such a young black man. This young man has enormous talents as a single father, writer, poet, entrepreneur and soon to be a motivational speaker for our youth.
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| Single Father Altwaun Nelson |
Allow me to introduce to you Mr. Altwaun Nelson and this is his story!
Could you please tell The Essence of One readers a little about yourself?
My name is Altuawn Nelson, and I'm a 25 year old black male. Currently, I'm a student at GA State University majoring in Criminal Justice.
I remember we had a very deep conversation about your mothers past life experiences, and how much that affected you. Can you please tell me and my readers a little more about that?
My mother gave birth to me when she was 20 years of age. After two years, her and my father separated. My mother received government assistance, food stamps, Section 8 and Welfare, for survival. At times, sold her body to make ends meet. She was inconsistent with men and for the most part, the good men were dogged out, but the bad men were kept around. To this day, she still depends on my brother and me for supplemental assistance.
What is your relationship with your father?
My father was in and out of my life; however when he was around, he was a great father. When he wasn't around, my behavior was always worst and my mother always downed him for not being around. She said things like: "Your dad ain't shit and he won't be coming back!" As I got older, he explained to me that he wasn't coming around because of jealousy issues from his wife, he was in a lose-lose situation. She often compared what he did for me with what he did for my other brothers.
Ok, so now that you're a single father of a beautiful little girl Jameeyah, and all that you have learned from your parents past relationship, did you think about the consequences of having unprotected sex, and knowing you could have a baby?
No, I was in love so I didn't think about the ramifications of having unprotected sex. I figured if I pulled out, it wouldn't have happened.
When you found out that you were going to be a father what was your first thought?
I don't remember what my first thought was, but after a couple of weeks, my thought process revolved around education myself and planning for my child's future.
How is your relationship with you daughter now?
My relationship with my daughter now is great! I talk to her daily, as well as make sure she's learning what she supposed to be learning in school. We go where ever she wants to go and I attempt to enroll her in whatever activities I find appropriate that she may want to participated in.
What is your relationship now with your daughter mother?
My relationship with my daughter's mother has been on and off, at the moment we are on. The love that we share has remained there, but mistakes that we made in the past have caused our relationship to be more complex. When were broken up, she did everything in her will to keep my attention, from putting me on child support to making it complicated to see my daughter. Regardless of the circumstance the loved remained there, so I never found another girlfriend outside of her. I dated around and slept with others, but finding someone that was better than her was a challenge. Months ago, we agreed that we'd drop all the past incidents and move forward. If it doesn't work this time, we also agreed to just go our separated ways. Although we are together, we live in different households.
Well you already know I am rooting for the both you to make it work! Not just for the both of you but of course for Jameeyah, that would be just another positive influent in her life!
How has your life changed now that your a father?
Becoming a father caused me to become more of a team player. The decisions that I make aren't based on just me, so before I make them, I keep her in mind. My finances also revolve around myself and her.
Do you have any advice for other single fathers?
The number one advice that I have for single fathers that are African American is to not follow into our current trends, instead use your own mind and heart. Because if you do follow these trends you're bound to end up in jail, and it's very difficult to raise a child from jail and it's even harder to find a job to support your child when you have a criminal record. The advice that I have for fathers as a whole is to continue to strive for your goals. At the same time, do what you have to do to raise your child, but keep in mind that just because you have a child doesn't mean that you have to limit what you do for yourself.
What are you currently working on now?
Currently, I'm a student at GA State University and I'm also anticipating about forming an Organization that goes to jails, prisons, homeless shelters and schools to speak to people about hope and following their passion!
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Five years from now, I see myself owning several businesses, running my Organization and participating in events that are pertaining to my daughter.
Thank you so much Altuwn for sharing your personal and beautiful life story of hope and change!
